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The most thoroughly and relentlessly Damned, banned, excluded, condemned, forbidden, ostracized, ignored, suppressed, repressed, robbed, brutalized and defamed of all Damned Things is the individual human being.

The social engineers, statisticians, psychologists, sociologists, market researchers, landlords, bureaucrats, captains of industry, bankers, governors, commissars, kings and presidents are perpetually forcing this Damned Thing into carefully prepared blueprints and perpetually irritated that the Damned Thing will not fit into the slot assigned it.

The theologians call it a sinner and try to reform it. The governor calls it a criminal and tries to punish it. The psychologist calls it a neurotic and tries to cure it.

Still, the Damned Thing will not fit into their slots.

Automated Update [29 Jun 2009|07:00pm]
  • 19:28 @capnmarrrrk If it's a Double CelebDeath Cycle... aren't we due for two more? #
  • 00:00 @capnmarrrrk I'll place my wager on... Bob Dylan. @mactonnies, care to get in on this one? We'll start a pool... #
  • 03:08 "I do not kill with my gun, for he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father. I kill with my heart." #
  • 13:20 Fun: Classic Sony Walkman reviewed by 13-year-old: tr.im/qbHJ #
  • 17:27 Without fail, the instant you cross the border into Virginia, traffic comes to a standstill. #
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Automated Update [28 Jun 2009|07:00pm]
  • 02:19 Holy Shit... has anybody else read the full text of Matt Taibi's Rolling Stone article about Goldman Sachs? #
  • 12:53 WTF? Billy Mays is dead? What the hell is going on, here? #
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Automated Update [27 Jun 2009|07:00pm]
  • 00:40 "From hell's heart, I stab at thee... for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee..." #
  • 02:46 So what if everybody can broadcast, and everyone is listening?! How do we improve the SIGNAL TO NOISE RATIO??!?!!!???!! #
  • 18:12 "'People might tease me,' is not a valid reason to get out of a subpoena." - Jon Stewart #
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Lenny Bruce, Role Model [27 Jun 2009|01:25am]
In 10th grade, I attempted to borrow the book How To Talk Dirty And Influence People, by Lenny Bruce, from the school library via inter-library loan. I had no idea what the ramifications of that little slip of paper would be.

The conservative librarian apparently didn't quote know how to process a request for a book such as this. Various horror novels were commonplace enough, and even Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks passed through the system that they didn't cause much alarm. Oh, but when a student (and admittedly, a part-time library volunteer) wanted to read a Real Book... it threw the system into disarray. Maybe it was her knowledge of Lenny Bruce's story, maybe it was because the book was published by Playboy Press... whatever the reason, a decision was made to contact my parents.

You see, a New Jersey high school library in the 90's couldn't simply refuse to lend a book on the basis of controversy alone; that sort of moral control system didn't exist in the schools just yet. Even in the politically conservative town in which I lived, the idea of censorship was a greater evil. If left to the parents to decide... well, that would let them dodge the bullet. After all, what parent would sign their name to a form allowing their child to borrow Offensive and potentially Pornographic Material?

So I found myself sitting across the table from my Mom, attempting to explain just why I "thought it was funny to request a pornographic book" from the library. Did the letter sent home mention the legal battles that Lenny Bruce went through over the concept of "legislated morality"? Did it contain any information whatsoever about the book, its author, or ANYTHING of the sort? My Dad owned George Carlin records, I'm pretty sure he'd have understood... but no, all it said was, "We're concerned, because Andy wants to borrow PLAYBOY MATERIALS."

Once it was explained just what said materials were, the anger calmed down and became confusion - why would the book I requested have given the administration such cause for concern? To this day I can't quite explain what happened - maybe my Mom genuinely trusted me, maybe my persuasive skills were powerful enough - but by the end of our conversation, she had signed her name to a "permission slip" that instructed the school to loan me anything I asked for. Backfire, anyone?

Granted, this was neither the first nor last time that I turned things on their head, during those years. I could spend all day telling stories like that, but this one has been on my mind today, so you get to read about it. Sometimes I miss the 90's, you know? I liked wearing flannel shirts; I liked girls in skirts and Doc Marten Boots. It probably wasn't really a "simpler time", but maybe I was a simpler person. I'm glad I did what I did, when I did it. If I had been born later, I'd have been drugged or institutionalized for some of the things I did. These days, they pump the kids full of every kind of dope they can sell, and they expel or jail any kid who acts too different or threatens the status quo. I'm a business owner who is known and respected in my industry... what fate awaits The Ritalin Generation?
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Automated Update [26 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 02:03 WTFOTD: Australia BANS all Mature Rated Video Games - even for Adults! tr.im/pOZC #
  • 13:43 You. Do. Not. Leave. The Cabinet. #
  • 13:49 Movie Review so amazing, it is actually better than the movie itself: tr.im/pTds #
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Automated Update [25 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 13:24 RIP Farrah Fawcett? #
  • 15:15 I want the super-ability to banish people to Narnia. #
  • 18:30 Holy shit... RIP Michael Jackson! #
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Automated Update [21 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 02:06 But WHY does he shove the Remote Control up his ASS?!?!?! tr.im/pdbV #
  • 17:06 As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there,
    He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd stay away! #
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Automated Update [20 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 01:56 THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! #
  • 17:34 Why is there Something instead of Nothing? #
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Automated Update [19 Jun 2009|06:00pm]

  • 00:46 And what is YOUR Erdos Number, Mr. Munroe? #

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Automated Update [18 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 23:44 I would like to stop collapsing waveforms, and start surfing the waves themselves. #
  • 00:33 Add BLUE overlay to your Twitter Avatar, to support Plate Tectonics! #tectonics #
  • 13:07 Overlay your Avatar PINK to support @Camittles getting her bathroom fixed! #
  • 13:55 WTFOTD: Montana city requires your FaceBook and MySpace passwords, before you can get a JOB. tr.im/oXbM #
  • 17:34 The Dutch do not have religion, they have CHEESE. #
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Automated Update [16 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 02:55 Am I really up all night working with FONTS?! #
  • 14:41 Good thing I needed some exercise... #
  • 15:33 Remember, kids: We make and ALLOCATE our own luck. #
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Automated Update [15 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 19:05 Tax Registration Code for Bards or Itinerant Storytellers: 711510. #
  • 19:06 Also, I bought www.DriveThroughDialysis.com and I need some ideas of what the hell to do with it... #
  • 12:44 "In a world where the enemy martial artist can pop up virtually anywhere, everyone must know kung fu." #
  • 18:03 Argh. I am defeated by PERL and SQL, for the second day in a row. #
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Automated Update [14 Jun 2009|06:00pm]

  • 01:26 I'll take Shadoe Stevens, for the block! #

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Automated Update [13 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 12:00 "Chilton Hardware: A tool for every need, and a need for every tool." #
  • 14:42 BREAKFAST bit.ly/x4zay #
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Automated Update [12 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 02:09 "That tear in his sleeve... that's where they keep the Tearoom of Despair!" #
  • 12:15 What's black and white and red all over? tr.im/ohZp #
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Automated Update [11 Jun 2009|06:00pm]

  • 23:39 "Give us the money, Lebowski!" #

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Automated Update [10 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 01:55 sudo Remove your pants #
  • 02:47 So did Greedo shoot first, or what? #
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Automated Update [09 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 21:20 Directive: Find the closest Tech Geek, and raise a toast in memory of TRUMPET WinSOCK! #
  • 02:16 Captain Malcolm Reynolds is officially on my Personal Heroes list. #
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Automated Update [08 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 22:20 "It's time to make Gatorade sweat like the dirty pig it is." #
  • 11:59 "I'm not exactly in the mood for Mozart and all that kind of goings-on." #
  • 16:02 Why the fuck is it SNOWING?! #
  • 18:32 Makin' your way in the world today takes everything you got... #
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Automated Update [07 Jun 2009|06:00pm]
  • 02:19 Holy Star Blazers, Batman! New YAMATO Movie? #
  • 03:34 We have amazing, unprecedented communication tools at our disposal and people use them to watch cellphone videos of a dog licking its balls. #
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